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5½ Pies

Reviewed by Limey

Plot Summary

A group of friends are desperate to stay awake because they know if they fall asleep a mysterious burnt figure will kill them in their dreams. Who is he, why does he want them dead and what connection do they all have to each other?

Review

Now, I am sure anyone that has read my review of the original Elm Street is currently thinking that I am the last person that should be reviewing the remake. And you're right; I was pretty angry about the prospect of this film being made.

However, just like with the Halloween and Friday the 13th remakes, I calmed down considerably over time and started to think there was a chance, no matter how slight, that the movie might surprise me. On top of that, I decided to be mature and figure that even if it was terrible, it didn't stop me enjoying the original.

So, was it terrible or a pleasant surprise? The answer to that question depends entirely on which half of the movie we are talking about.

You see, the first 45 minutes are bloody awful. It was so awful that it actually took me at least twice that long to get through it – I was watching on DVD, which meant I was able to pause it and walk away whenever it got too much for me, which was often.

The problems are many but the ultimate sin has to be that it is boring. There was zero tension, bad writing and sub par acting. For example, there is never any doubt as to whether the characters are awake or asleep and I never felt like the characters themselves truly cared either way.

By the way, they are, in fact, almost always asleep because this first half of the film relies far too heavily on lacklustre dream sequences, sometimes having two back to back scenes both set in the dream world. Oh, and one character in particular falls asleep in the most inappropriate of places.

This all means that, from the very first scene, you find yourself simply waiting for Freddy to turn up. The problem there is that he turns up – and is shown - almost straight away, with no build up, no style and again no suspense whatsoever.

And why are all the iconic scenes rushed? If you are going to rip scenes directly from your source material, at least use them properly. No, previously great scenes are copy and pasted from one film to the other, but with any soul completely missing and fast forwarded so that they last for about 5 seconds each. Oh, and all linked together with meandering, pointless and boring scenes – mostly set in the dream world.

But then there is the second half which, while not problem free, was much, much better. The acting, writing and directing were all much improved. It suddenly found an identity and as a result became its own movie rather than just a rehash.

I cared a hell of a lot more about the characters who at last genuinely do not want to fall asleep. The introduction of micro-naps managed to recapture some sense of never knowing what is real and what is a dream much better than the dream sequences themselves. Most importantly of all, Freddy finally comes into his own.

This is most definitely a film of two halves.

Quotes:

Freddy Krueger : You can't hurt me. This is my world. And you can't ever leave.

Quentin Smith : I don't know what's real anymore.

Spook Factor: ½ Pie

Tough one. For me, there were virtually no scares. This is again because the first half is comprised of poor imitations of things I have already seen, while the second half doesn't offer up anything I haven't seen somewhere in the last eighteen years.

However, if you are unfamiliar with Freddy, I can see certain moments getting to you, plus Freddy's former interests are sure to make people uncomfortable.

Antagonist: ½ Pie

Another half score for this tale of two halves. For me, this version of Freddy doesn't work until the last act. I can't fault the acting there - the writing and directing are entirely to blame for him having zero power to scare or amuse.

In that last act, however, something finally clicks and he starts to feel like Freddy. He is much more in line with the Freddy of the first Elm Street film, something closer to the bogeyman than the comedian of the sequels, but like he did in that first movie he does still enjoy a good one liner every now and then. He even pinches one from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4.

Story: ½ Pie

For far too long it is basically a badly done retelling of the story Wes Craven told 26 years ago until someone finally got creative and decided the best thing to do was to tell that story in their own way. Again, it would have been higher had they played more with the idea that perhaps Krueger wasn't what everyone thought he was, instead of going back to Craven's original concept of the character.

Acting: ½ Pie

After a slow start, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner and Jackie Earle Haley all turned it up and delivered fine performances but I am afraid everyone else - with the possible exception of Kellan Lutz - left rather a lot to be desired.

This seems like a good time to discuss the challenge faced by Haley, which is that Freddy Krueger was made iconic by Robert Englund. There is simply no getting around the fact that Englund is Krueger in the same way that Boris Karloff is Frankenstein's Monster and Bela Lugosi is Count Dracula.

Of course, all these years later we are willing to accept new interpretations of those characters but regardless of who plays them, Karloff and Lugosi are still the faces we see whenever we think about them. It is also important to remember that it was hard for people to accept when Karloff was first replaced with Lon Chaney, Jr.

So yes, in trying to make it his own, Haley had a hell of a challenge in front of him and while he wasn't entirely successful in the attempt, it wasn't made any easier for him by being surrounded by everything now associated with Englund - the same costume, music and story. Heck, even the same lines.

Long story short, he worked hard, didn't embarrass himself or the character and turned in a strong performance. That is all anyone can or should ask for.

Directing: ½ Pie

This is Samuel Bayer's directorial debut so we should probably cut him some slack, but blimey, some of it really was bad. While the writing was all over the place, he is still partly responsible for the first 45 minutes being so tensionless and boring. That the dream sequences are so blatantly telegraphed is entirely his fault.

But just like everyone else involved, he seemed to wake up as we passed the halfway mark because an energy and creativity emerged that simply hadn't been present beforehand. I most enjoyed the micro nap sequence in the pharmacy.

Soundtrack: ½ Pie

I know a lot of people liked the new soundtrack but for me nothing stood out apart from the elements borrowed from the original Charles Beinstein score. Those moments were classic as ever but the rest failed to make an impression.

Special Effects: ½ Pie

Here we have yet another mixed bag. The injuries inflicted on the victims looked fine, as did the prosthetics and CG used for Freddy's face, but elsewhere some of the CG looked terrible. It was most noticeable when the film copied scenes from the 1984 Elm Street but used CG instead of practical effects.

There is one exception to that, which is the final scene. I don't think I am spoiling anything by telling you that it floats the possibility of a sequel and it looks much better than the final scene in the first film.

Gore: ½ Pie

There was minimal gore to be found in this one. It was mostly your standard cuts and burns with the occasional amputation. The blood quota in the classic scenes was noticeably reduced.

Replay, Rewatch, Rewind: 1 Pie

Come on, admit it; you weren't expecting that. The thing is, my love for horror was born on Elm Street and I will always return to each and every entry in the series.

Pros

Some of the effects and the classic score were good, plus the film found some much needed momentum during the final act, when the writing, acting and directing all picked up. On top of that, seeing Freddy again was a joy.

Cons

Some of the effects and the new score failed to capture my imagination, plus the first act was incredibly flat, with limp writing, acting and directing. It was also a bit sad to see someone other than Robert Englund in the role of Freddy.

Final Word

So in the end, this film of two halves scored slightly above 50%. There are times when the score and my actual opinion are at odds, but this is not one of those times. In fact, my opinion may be slightly lower than the score. This is one movie that is not more than the sum of its parts.

The thing is, while it did nothing to convince me that it needed to be made or that it deserves the sequel that has already been announced, it was not the total travesty I initially expected it to be. It adds nothing but it doesn't take anything away either. Enjoy it or ignore it. It's up to you and doesn't really matter either way.

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