4 Pies

Reviewed by Yankee

Plot Summary

A psycho in a Santa suit decides who's been naughty and who's been nice.

Review

With a tagline and a plot summary like that seen above, I really could not hold a high expectation for what I was about to see. I actually had no idea this movie even existed three weeks ago, but was on the lookout for “fresh blood” to use for this year's Christmas update. I actually found this holding the #1 spot of a “Top 10 Christmas Horror Movies” list… not that this is saying much. I was pleased to see that many of the remaining nine have already been featured here.

The very beginning of this film feels like a made for TV movie (if it were on an unrated channel) from its teaser and throughout the opening credits. After that, if feels like a dark offering of Columbo where the mystery is replaced with a horror plot and the dog is replaced with sex and violence.

Strange, isn't it? Well here is another piece of hot coal to throw into your nylon stocking: at the halfway point of the movie, I found myself unable to look away and rooting for the killer! Yeah, I don't understand it either. Maybe there were subliminal images or something…

Quotes:

Santa: You want it all... but you're no longer a child.

Santa: Do you know who I am?

Santa: They all know my tune now…

Spook Factor: ¼ Pie

I always find that the easiest way to make a horror film not scary at all is for the audience to know everything about the killer/monster before the killing spree begins. But if you are very squeamish, or just one of the naughty under-aged boys watching this… it may spook you a bit. I did find that the dark realism added some sense of dread and macabre, so it's not a total wash.

Antagonist: ¼ Pie

Harry really isn't so much a villain as he is just a poor guy that is mentally sick and losing his shit on Christmas. I spent most of the movie feeling sorry for him and hoping that he could be saved. His killing spree played more like a violent downward spiral into madness. Instead of fearing for his victims, I was hoping for him to stop and get away.

Story: ½ Pie

There's actually a plot here! It has some sort of flow that goes somewhere. The problems here are an inconsistent pace and a copout ending. I also have a lot of trouble swallowing the reasoning behind Harry's sudden breakdown and its timing. Why did it take 33 years to lash out? I think someone poked plot holes into our stockings…

Acting: ½ Pie

I'm going to be honest with you… most of the acting here is kind of bad. Some of it outright stinks… but both Brandon Maggart and Jeffrey DeMunn (yes, of The Walking Dead) do show some promise and worked off of each other well.

Directing: ½ Pie

The directing was equally naughty and nice. Most of the shots were good enough to keep things going and capture a dark mood. But some of it was also distracting. The flow of a movie should be smooth and transitional. The switch from action scenes to boring ones always felt like a speeding car stopped by a brick wall. And to continue with the whole “Made for TV” feel, the fade outs were long and perfect for commercial breaks <rolls eyes>.

Soundtrack: ¼ Pie

Both sound effects and score were bad enough to make me cringe. They failed to build up any kind of anticipation, mood or emotion. I've since learned that the lady in charge of this had gone on to become a major film editor for the likes of Quentin Tarantino! Thank goodness this was her only sound gig or she'd have starved to death!

Special Effects: ¼ Pie

There are very few special effects for this movie - and really, not much was needed. But what was done was not done well. Special effects should only come off as cartoony and tongue-in-cheek when done so deliberately… just saying.

Gore: ¼ Pie

Not very much blood or gore to be seen here. There aren't many deaths anyway, so this is not surprising. However, the gore that does exist is not too shabby.

Replay, Rewatch, Rewind: ½ Pie

You know, I could see this one again as I did enjoy the movie overall. I wouldn't mind checking it out again while showing it to some of my friends. It just wouldn't sit high on my priority list.

Pros

An original premise where you feel for the antagonist's plight.

Cons

The low budget is sorely felt and some of the execution comes off as highly amateur.

Final Word

All in all, I do not think that this movie was anything less than Silent Night, Deadly Night but somehow it did not reach that level of cult status. Most of you (like me) probably weren't even aware that this existed. But if you're good all year, perhaps I can bring you another hidden Christmas nugget next year…

… But if you're bad, then I'll bring you something... horrible.