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3¾ Pies

Reviewed by Limey

Plot Summary

A serial killer named Jack Frost evaded the police for years before finally being caught by a small town sheriff. On the way to his execution, however, he is involved in an accident that results in him becoming a living snowman. Free once more, he is determined to exact his revenge on the man that sent him to prison.

Review

Before we begin, I think it is important that we are all honest with ourselves. When you sit down to watch a movie like this you know full well what you are getting yourself into. If you are expecting greatness you are in the wrong place. Seriously. If you are, go back and read the plot summary. Still unsure just what kind of film this is? Go back and read the tagline. Actually, it is worth being said one more time;

He's chillin... and killin!

Now, there is certain kind of genius there but it is not the kind of genius that creates timeless cinematic masterpieces.

No, this here is a B-Movie, boys and girls. The genre ascribed to it is usually horror but it is just as much a comedy, if not more so. The comedy is at times both deliberate and (you would hope) inadvertent, which has resulted in it developing something of a cult following over the years. It was presumably because of this cult interest that a sequel was made in the year 2000. It wasn't the greatest display of human advancement at the turn of the millennium but it was bloody funny.

Having literally just finished watching the first movie for this review, I actually have to say that it may be a little unfair to paint every aspect of the film as cringe worthy and, by extension, hilarious. The writing and acting are occasionally quite strong. It may just be because I sometimes dream of living a quiet life in a close knit community, but I bought into the town of Snowmonton . It felt like a real place with real and distinct residents who had known each other for years. Of course, it also showed how superficial such places can be and how quickly the ugly, small minded, lynch mob side of them comes out as everyone turns on the sheriff the second something bad happens.

Talking of the sheriff, I also really bought into his character and genuinely cared about what happened to him and his family. It may be a B-Movie that maintains an audience simply due to how ridiculous it is, but even in a comedy I need something to care about or else it becomes a totally pointless experience.

So possibly I am being far too generous but I feel the movie does have genuine strengths, primarily the believable base it is built upon. That base is, of course, used for an utterly ludicrous concoction of pedestrian direction, ropey dialogue, bad effects and a wise cracking, serial killing snowman but still... it's there.

Quotes:

Tommy: What the Hell are you?
Jack Frost: The world's most pissed-off snowcone!

Deputy Foster: What the Hell's eating him?
Sam: I bet you it ain't his girlfriend.

Spook Factor: No Pie

This is the first time I have ever awarded a score of no pie whatsoever but come on; as horrible as some scenes may be in theory, if you are spooked by this film you should seriously consider never watching any movie ever again.

Antagonist: ½ Pie

This really depends upon what you are after. The list of his crimes described in the prologue could have easily been made into a dark and gritty horror feature and that is good. However, by the time we see Jack he is a cartoon bad guy and that is bad. He is then transformed into a snowman. A snowman that you almost never see move and cracks one-liners as he kills people. At this stage, he is absurd. The thing is, you do actually start to associate him with the motionless prop that represents him, so its appearance in a scene immediately creates an internal response.

Story: ¼ Pie

This one would actually be higher if it had just stuck with the generic plot combined with the killer snowman, but when on top of the horror and comedy they start introducing elements from a science fiction B-Movie to explain what has happened to Jack, the story loses any goodwill I had.

Acting: ½ Pie

I know I praised it earlier but a strong performance in Jack Frost does not automatically equate to good acting. It is often better than expected and I especially liked Christopher Allport who I think gave the film the genuinely human and grounded element that it needed. Despite his best efforts though, there is no denying that there are some seriously dodgy moments throughout, starting but not ending with Scott MacDonald as the pre-snow Jack Frost.

Directing: ½ Pie

For the most part, this was a point and shoot affair which means there was nothing offensive or impressive about the direction. Still, Cooney did have to contend with death scenes which could never show the murderer and there was a certain light touch here and there that helped with the comedy, so it was more good than bad.

Soundtrack: ½ Pie

I seem to remember once saying that horror has more memorable soundtracks and character themes than any other genre. This is not one I would use to prove my point. It is effective as atmospheric music in those rare moments when they are actually trying to up the tension but beyond that all you will notice is that it is as cheesy as the rest of the film.

Special Effects: ¼ Pie

There weren't really that many special effects on display and frankly what little we got doesn't really deserve to be called special. It is all as simple as it comes and when anything beyond that is tried, it becomes as bad as it comes. Even a few simple camera tricks are poorly timed.

Gore: ¼ Pie

The deaths are actually fairly horrific but they are played for laughs more than horror and there is a distinct lack of gore on display.

Replay, Rewatch, Rewind: ½ Pie

I suppose this one depends upon whether the film left you thinking 'this is bad' or 'this is so bad it's good'. Personally, I can very easily picture myself sitting down with a friend and a few beers to laugh ourselves silly.

Pros

Some strong acting and writing plus the fun that can be had if you understand and accept what you are getting into.

Cons

Practically everything if watched expecting a well made horror movie.

Final Word

Judging by the score you would think I selected a pretty poor Christmas present for myself this year but... Well, OK, as a horror film you would be right. Despite that, I cannot deny having enjoyed myself. How can that be possibly true? Jack Frost is a stupid, ludicrous and occasionally embarrassing movie. The thing is, it achieves something far more important than any of that. It is entertaining.

Don't eat yellow snow!