9 ½ Pies

Reviewed by Yankee

Plot Summary

When a girl is possessed by a mysterious entity, her mother seeks the help of two priests to save her daughter.

Review

Anyone who read and remembers my article- Yankee Origins: Part 1 (shame on you if you haven’t already), knows how my journey into horror film started. What most do not know (and I had forgotten until recently) is that the movie: The Exorcist had been scaring me long before I ever watched any horror films.

The summer before first grade when I was a six years old, I had a daily playmate named Denise. Denise wasn’t like the other girls I knew before then. She loved adventure as much as I did and we would often get in trouble together; usually due to her outlandish ideas. I always did have a weakness for bad girls and she was my first. Each day would start off innocently with our morning meeting at the playground across her street. There we would talk for a bit, play on the swings and then start raising Hell by lunchtime. Life was good.

One morning, Denise explained to me why she was so tired. How she was up late after watching the movie that her older sister and friends played on their Betamax. She never recalled the name of the film but she explained the plot to me in great detail. Within the first two minutes, I had gone from pushing her on the swing and casually listening to holding her swing close to me so that I wouldn’t miss a word.

Consider the comprehension that a normal six year old girl might have watching a movie like The Exorcist and the way the story would have played inside the mind of a super smart boy who was STILL only a first grader… yeah, it was bad. I put on a brave front and never let my first bad girl know how disturbed I was as she wove the tale of a girl a little older than us who had inadvertently “swallowed the devil, and he was living in her belly now”.

Neither of us were old enough to fully understand the movie, but knowing about the voices, the head turning, the vomiting, and “the devil inside her stomach controlling the girl” was too much for me. I played with her for as long as I could that day, staying until her dad called her for supper, which in turn meant that I was late for supper, so that neither of us would have to be alone. The now obvious flaw in my plan was that I still had to walk home by myself when she left for supper. I was so scared that I could barely move and it took me more than an hour to walk the half block that only took five minutes the day before. When my mother scolded me for being so tardy, I never explained myself. I just accepted my “no dessert” punishment because I was so relieved to be home safe. I had nightmares for the rest of that summer.

It was 12 years later when I finally worked up the nerve to rent this movie for myself. It was only that soon because a friend of mine (one year older than I) who had seen it before, offered to crash at my place. He wouldn’t have watched it again if he had to go home right after. When we watched it, he kept checking every 10 minutes to make sure I hadn’t fallen asleep because he was too scared to watch it by himself. After 40 minutes, I told him to either shut up or go to my room and crash while I finished the movie. Fifteen minutes later, he went to my room. The nightmares returned for a couple of days, this time with a more accurate portrayal of what that possessed little girl looked like… damn… thanks for the scar tissue Denise…

Quotes:

Regan MacNeil: You're going to die up there.

Demon: Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.

Chris MacNeil: How do you go about getting an exorcism?

Father Merrin: I cast you out! Unclean spirit!

Demon: What an excellent day for an exorcism.

Spook Factor: 1 Pie

You're kidding, right? This movie is regarded in cinematic history as the scariest movie of all time and nearly 40 years later, it hangs on to that title like… wait for it… someone possessed! While I have watched movies that scared me more than watching The Exorcist, NO movie ever scared me 12 years before seeing it… as retold by a six year old girl… just saying. I've heard many people talk about seeing this in the theater back in 1973 and at the re-release in 1976 stating that people ran out of the cinema terrified! Yeah, I'd say that qualifies as scary!

Antagonist: 1 Pie

The demon Pazuzu is a vile, ruthless and horrible villain indeed! He has the power to look into your soul and gather any information he needs to manipulate you and break your spirit. What he does when possessing humans goes far beyond your worst nightmare. And thus far, he also appears to be invincible! Even the best priest the church had to offer (who nearly died exorcising him years earlier) failed to cast him out of poor Regan. Pazuzu's portrayal was far more evil than any rendition of Lucifer I had ever seen!

Story: 1 Pie

When an award winning novelist is allowed to adapt his own work into the screenplay that will become the movie of said novel, it is very hard to go wrong. And although the movie is limited by time and technology, the story in this movie is tight, complex, engaging, terrifying and near flawless. It still holds strong, four decades after it had been written.

Acting: 1 Pie

You may have heard talk about how actors have one of the most challenging jobs in horror, because if they cannot make you believe, then you will never feel the horror. I am hard pressed to think of a movie where the ENTIRE cast was dead on in selling you their story. When you look at the names billed here, it is no surprise. The acting was so superior that Linda Blair had received death threats after the movies release and needed bodyguards!

Directing:1 Pie

William Friedkin represents that rare breed of director that truly puts the good of the film first. He strove for consistency and pure excellence. Up until the day before release, he would pull bits out of the movie that did not live up to the quality of the rest of the film… even if it conflicted with WPB's wishes. The Exorcist was nominated for ten Academy Awards and is the first horror film to be nominated for Best Picture! What William Friedkin did was raise the bar incredibly high for horror. A bar that has seldom been met since!

Soundtrack: 1 Pie

The first time or so that I watched this movie I hadn't much noticed the soundtrack. It is probably because I was too freaked out. A great soundtrack for a movie not only helps provoke the right thematic tone and emotion for the scene, but it should also act almost as another character in the movie. The music here is nearly as chilling as what is shown on screen. I read that Warner Bros had instructed Friedkin to have the composer tone it down for being too scary but Friedkin ignored this. Thank goodness…

Special Effects: 1 Pie

The special effects used in this film were ingenious and advanced for their time. A great testament to what a great crew could achieve with practical effects. The Exorcist went were other films would not. It was so graphic that barf bags were needed at showings.

Gore: 1 Pie

The Exorcist is proof that there is more to hardcore gore then just dismemberment and lots of blood… like for instance, buckets of puke! The gore here is hardcore and in your face. It is effective, disturbing and cringe worthy. Not for the faint of heart.

Replay, Rewatch, Rewind: ½ Pie

This may come as a shock after scoring perfectly everywhere else. There is a saying that if something is too perfect, then it becomes imperfect. That is true in this case. This movie will keep you captivated and invested every time you watch it, but the experience is very draining. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I have watched this movie many times, many different cuts and continue to do so every time a casual opportunity arises. But it is too intense to view on any kind of frequent basis. I'm just being honest.

Pros

A true all time classic horror masterpiece. The ultimate template for future horror films to aspire to. Everything a horror film should be and more.

Cons

It is truly scary, disgusting, emotionally draining and disturbing.

Final Word

Very bold statements have been made about The Exorcist. Scariest movie ever. Greatest horror film of all time. The devil's work. The fact that these statements are rarely met with resistance duly illustrates the effect that this movie has had on our culture. I have a statement of my own: I was first exposed to the horror story that I would later learn is called The Exorcist, thirty-three years ago…. and I still need therapy today… coincidence?

We have to start looking for a shrink.