7 Pies

Reviewed by Limey

Plot Summary

Five curious fans of the Blair Witch Project explore the woods where the murders are said to have taken place. By morning, they have no memory of what has happened.

Review

Now, I know what you are thinking. You have taken one look at the name of the movie, one at the score I have given it and you have now come to the conclusion that you can never again trust one of my reviews. My credibility is forever shot.

After all, this is Blair Witch 2 we are talking about, a movie widely accepted to be one of the worst films ever made, certainly a terrible sequel to the most financially successful movie in history. Heck, it was even nominated for a whopping five Razzie Awards.

Thing is, I don’t believe that the majority of its critics have ever even watched it. I know many people who base their opinion of the movie on the established fact that it sucks. I myself did the same for many a year.

As for those that have seen it, while there are of course those that were always going to dislike it, I have the sneaking suspicion that many were initially disappointed that it wasn’t more like the original movie and have never given it another chance.

I do not blame anyone for having such an opinion. In many ways, it is not the kind of movie designed for the mainstream attention it received and thus it suffered due to its affiliation with the cultural juggernaut that was the original. A successful predecessor can be a blessing or a curse and in the case of this particular witch, it was a curse.

In short, I feel that Blair Witch 2 was and is judged on anything but its own merits and deserves another look. In my case, when I finally judged it for myself, I found a movie that was not only completely different to what had come before it, but also better.

Quotes:

Jeff: If you don’t believe in the Blair Witch, then why the hell did you come along?
Kim: I thought the movie was cool.

Kim: Something happened to us in the woods… Something evil.

Spook Factor: ½ Pie

Eh. Non-existent really, which is one of the reasons why I feel that so many fans of the first flick hold so much contempt for its successor. However, watching the characters slowly lose their minds puts me on edge and I think the film, when watched in the right conditions, will successfully get inside your head too.

Antagonist: ¾ Pie

Those that have already seen the film are now beyond humouring me. “What antagonist?” Well, that depends on which part of the film we are talking about. At different times it could be any character you care to mention - the leads, the townspeople, the sheriff. It gets marked down for that last one. Who found that guy?

Story: ½ Pie

I would sincerely love to give this one a higher rating, but let’s be honest; there isn’t all that much of one. The entire premise is that the characters aren’t even sure what has actually happened, let alone the viewers, and so it is more about exploring the fragile nature of reality than actually telling a cut and dry story.

Acting: ¾ Pie

See, now I love all the leads, but there is one man just determined to pull them under and that is the Sheriff. After my first viewing of BW2, I was somewhat surprised to see all the negative comments about this guy. On subsequent visits to Burkittsville, however, I too have come to feel that he was completely out of place here.

Directing: 1 Pie

I defy anyone to sit and watch this movie and come to the conclusion that it was directed by someone who had never before – or since, for that matter – directed any fictional work. He took one brief foray into feature film and he delivered with a truly accomplished vision.

Soundtrack: 1 Pie

The soundtrack works just fine throughout, supporting the action on screen, but best of all is the score, written as it was by the greatest composer working today, Carter Burwell.

Special Effects: ½ Pie

There were bits and pieces, here and there, mainly during character hallucinations, for which they are perfectly suited, but there is nothing to write home about.

Gore: ½ Pie

Reports are that Artisan Entertainment insisted upon some of the more violent scenes being added to the movie. While none of them feel out of place, it is a shame that Berlinger was forced to compromise on his vision. They serve their purpose in the little screen time they are given, but there is nothing outstanding.

Replay, Rewatch, Rewind: ¾ Pie

For me, anyway, it absolutely demanded a return visit, and it is a trip I have happily taken several times now.

Pros

A brave new take on the Blair Witch legend, presented with gusto by the leads, the composer and the director.

Cons

I am only really bothered by the rather lacking performance of the Sheriff, but feel the lack of scares and the half-arsed gore hurt it in the eyes of many.

Final Word

It is sad to see such a creative film pushed aside and forgotten, but perhaps any sequel to the phenomenally successful original was always destined to the same fate. I recommend that you dismiss the popular opinion and decide for yourself. I think many of you will be pleasantly surprised. Seize the witch!